


Straight as a rush

by Lilliburlero



Category: Aubrey-Maturin Series - Patrick O'Brian
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Ficlet, Genderswap, M/M, Other, Period Typical Attitudes, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 01:48:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3231653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilliburlero/pseuds/Lilliburlero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Political disappointment is not the only reason for James Dillon's growing reserve.</p><p>*</p><p>To reconditarmonia's request for 'James Dillon & Stephen Maturin, genderswap.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Straight as a rush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reconditarmonia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reconditarmonia/gifts).



How singular a coincidence, Stephen reflected, that this change had made of his friend the sort of haughty beauty—small features in a high-carrying head, that magnificent swatch of dark-red hair caught in its customary black ribbon, slender long limbs—to whom he was drawn and from whom he could rarely expect other than scorn for his low size and ill-looks. And yet it had never before occurred to him that his advances might receive rebuff from James; nor had they. It had been Stephen who concluded the more ardent chapter of their friendship: love of that character occupied only part of his amorous life, while for James it was the whole; it could never be an equitable arrangement. At the time, James had been good-natured enough to take it well. Stephen doubted the same would still be so.

'I confess, my dear, I am baffled. There are _analogies_ in nature, sure enough, and among mankind a degree of hermaphroditism is—'

That look of glacial fury had been Stephen's peculiar delight once—or the melting of it had. He faced it down, continuing evenly, '—more frequent than you might imagine. But that is not to our purpose. You should, I think, wish me to be honest in point of prognosis.'

'Yes.' What a sweet voice it was, had always been: changed only in timbre, hardly in pitch.

'To effect a reversal does not lie in my power—the transformation is complete. And took place, if I understand you, with extraordinary despatch—'

'It was excruciating—I have never known pain like it. But swift.'

Stephen nodded. 'It is possible, I suppose, that another such change might occur—but unlikely.'

'Nothing will come of nothing, you mean?' The corners of James's mouth twitched in a sort of vicious, self-lacerating amusement. Stephen extended his hand and found it grasped tightly: there had, if the grip was any indication, been no loss of muscular strength.

'Something like that. _A chuisle_ , what will you do?'

'Do? I don't see that I must change anything—well, perhaps one thing. But in truth I have lived content enough without that since—for some time.'

'Well—your fortune makes a comfortable private life possible, I suppose—'

'You mistake me. I have lost no bodily fortitude, and my figure is spare enough to be bound into a masculine semblance. I had expected my voice should excite remark, but men do not hear what they do not expect to hear. I don't yet know what will happen—each month, if you understand me, but women manage that discreetly enough that I never knew of it until I was tolerably advanced in years, and so shall I. Proximity makes sailors modest in the extreme—for all that naval discipline is harsh, in their general conduct they are gentle and restrained with one another. I have something to fear from women aboard, perhaps, but nothing at all from men: if I can pass the gunner's wife without arousing suspicion I'll know myself safe.'

'And if you are injured?'

'I must hope that any wound is superficial enough that I may treat it myself, or grave enough to make no matter.'

' _Jesu,_ ' Stephen breathed. Displays of courage and defiance were to him as _Nepeta Cataria_ to the feline tribe; it was all he could do not impulsively to pull James into his arms and renew most fervently old acquaintance. He had not, he saw, kept the desire from his face, for James smiled sadly.

'No, Stephen. I am as much myself as ever I was, but you see it wouldn't answer, don't you?'

'Very well.' He squeezed James's hand and released it. The next time they saw one another was at Rathfarnham: Stephen going out by the summerhouse, as James and Lord Kenmare came in.


End file.
